HAVEN

Home: where heaven in this world can be feel

         "Okay, class dismiss!" ,yan ang pinakahihintay naming linya ni ma'am Aima. Ay mali, ako lang pala ang naghihinty ng linyang yan. Eh bakit ba? Ang tunay na estudyante, palaging excited umuwi. Ang tanong, tunay nga ba akong estudyante? Malaman nyo yan mamaya. 

         Ito na ang last period namin kaya panahon na para umuwi. Tumayo na ako at kinuha ang aking bag sa tabing upuan. Kailangan kong magmadali dahil marami pa akong gagawin. Gusto nyong malaman kuna ano? Ayoko ngang sabihin, ayoko maging spoiler noh. Ang mga magaganda hindi spoiler. Anong connect? Haha, uwag na kayong kumontra. Kwento ko to kaya walang papalag. Di joke lang. Alam nyo nmang mahal na mahal ko kayo di ba?^__^ 

        Papalabas na sana ako ng pintuan nang marinig kong may tumatawag sa akin. Si Bryan, ang pinaka-close kong classmate na lalaki.

(Konsensya: Weh?? Classmate lang talaga?)

(Ako: Classmate nga, bakit may iba pa bang tawag sa kanya?!)

(Konsensya: Meron, boylet!)

(Ako: Che! Boylet mo yang pagmumukha mo. Lumayas ka nga! Malandi to.)

(Konsensya: Hoy! Nagmana lang ako sayo.)

(Balik  sa kasalukuyan...)

    "Say! Say!"

    "Oh Bryan, bakit?"

    "Sama ka samin, manlilibre daw si Ana sa Pizza Hut. Birthday daw eh, dali!"

    "Nyek! Sana kahapon pa sya nagsabi. Di ako nakapagpaalam eh, di ako makakasama. Alam mo        na, strict ang parents ko. Haha!"

    "Ay, sayang naman."

    " Ow em gee! Wow naman, nahiya naman kami sa pagkastrict ng parents mo. Strict ba talaga o hindi ka lang talaga pinapayagan kasi may utos pa sila sayo? Tsk tsk tsk, di ka pwedeng sumama kasi magluluto ka pa, maghuhugas, magpapakain sa mga kapatid mo at tutulong ka pa sa nanay mong labandera. Aaww, kawawa ka naman Atsay." sabi ni Lindsay, ang napakaipokrita kong kaklase.

    "Ows? Bakit naman ako magiging kawawa? Eh kung ikompara naman sa katulad mong hindi marunog magluto at maghugas, mas kawawa kaya yun. Tsaka totoong strict ang parents ko. Ang ganda kaya ng anak nila. Ayaw nilang mawalan ng magandang anak noh!" sabi ko naman sa kanya.

    "Talaga lang ha? Strict sila kasi maganda ka? Eh bakit ako, hindi strict ang parents ko? Maganda naman ako ah! Sila nga mismo nagsabi na maganda ako."

    " Tinantanong mo ba talaga sakin yan? Gusto mo ba talagang sagutin ko yan? Hindi ako sinungaling kagaya ng mga magulang mo kaya wala kang maririnig sa akin kundi pawang katotohanan lamang."

    "Hindi sinungaling ang parents ko! At hindi mo na kailangan sagutin dahil hindi ko kailanagn ang opinyon mo. Alam kong maganda ako!"

    " Eh? Maganda? Saang banda? Sa paa? Sabagay, mukha ka namang paa. At pwede ba, kung yang mukhang dala-dala mo ang sinasabi mong maganda, maawa ka nga sa mga pangit. Ano na lang klaseng pagmumukha meron sila kung iyang mukhang meron ka ang pagbabasehan ng  maganda?

    "Nang-iinsulto ka ba ha?!"

    " Hala, hindi ah. Nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo. Sabi ko naman sayo hindi ako sinungaling na tao."

    "Aba't, hoy! Bruha ka gusto mo ng away?!"

    "Lindsay tama na nga! Pwede ba umalis ka na. Maayos kaming nag-uusap dito tapus manggugulo ka lang bigla. Gusto mo bang isumbong kita kang maam Aima, ha?!" sabat ni Bryan sa gitna ng pag-aaway namin ni Lindsay.

   "Bryan, kinakampihan mo yang dukhang yan?! Ano ka ba naman? Hindi ka dapat nakikipagkausap sa mga katulad nya. Mga wala silang kwenta!"

    "Tumahimik ka nga Lindsay! Ikaw ang walang kwenta. Mas gugustohin ko pang makausap ang mga mahihirap kaysa katulad mong mayaman nga, may mabaho namang pag-uugali!"

    "Ouch! Ang sakit mo namang magsalita Bryan. Concerned lang naman ako sayo."

    "Talagang masakit akong magsalita. At pwede ba, hindi ko kailangan ang concerned mo kaya umalis kana!"

    "Hmp!" tumalikod na si Lindsay at naglakad palayo.

    "Salamat Bry." sabi ko kay Bryan.

    "Okay lang yun. Hindi ko siya gustong sigawan pero sumosobra na kasi sya eh." sabi ni Bryan.

    "oo nga eh. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang init ng dugo nya sakin. Wala naman akong ginagawa sa kanya. Di ko talaga siya maintindihan."

    "hayaan mo na. Mapapagod din siyang awayin ka."

    "Sana nga. Ako kasi pagod na sa mga pang-aapi nya. Nakakpagod kayang lumaban, hehe. Sige Bryan, una na ako sayo. Sorry talaga hindi ako makakasama."

    "Okay lang, naiintindiahn ko naman. Sige ingat ka ha?"

    "Syempre naman! Bawal mapahamak ang magaganda noh. Haha! BYE!"

    "Haha! Oo na, oo na. Bye."

        Naglalakad na ako pauwi sa bahay. Gusto ko talagang sumama sa kanila kaso di talaga pwede. Bago ako umalis papuntang school kanina ay sinabihan ako ni nanay na umuwi ng maaga. Kailangan ko daw siyang tulungan sa paglalaba. Oo totoo lahat nang sinabi ni Lindsay kanina. Mahirap lang kami, pero di naman nya kailanagan ipagsigawan di ba? Mabuti sana kung ipinagsigawan niya ay mawawala na yung kahirapan namin. Ayos yun, tutulungan ko pa siyang sumigaw. Pero hindi eh. Hindi mawawala ang katotohanang mahirap lang kami.

       Labing walong taong gulang na ako pero 4th year high school student pa rin ako. Huminto ako ng dalawang taon para ang mga kapatid ko naman ang makapag-aral. Hindi kami kayang sabay na pag-aralin nila inay at itay. Tricycle driver si tatay at si nanay naman ay labandera. Kulang na kulnag ang kinikita nila sa pagkain palang namin. Pero okay lang yun. Dalawang buwan nalang at makaka-graduate na ako.
      Pagdating ko sa bahay sinalubomg agad ako ng mga kapatid ko. Nanghihingi ng pasalubong na pagkain.  Wala akong maibigay kasi wala nmana akong pera. Hindi nga ako nagrecess kanina at alam nyo ngan naglakad lang ako.

     "O, Atsay mabuti nakauwi ka na. Halika ka na dito sa likod at tulungan mo akong maglaba nang matapos na ito at makapagluto na tayo. Kanina pa yan nanghihingi ng pagkain ang mga kapatid mo." sabi ni nanay.

     "Opo nay." tugon ko.

     Tapus na kaming maglaba at magluto. Dumating na di si Itay galing s apamamasada. Kumakain na kami ngayon sa maliit naming lamesa na gawa pa mula sa mga kahoy na pinulot lang ni tatay matapos nang nakaraang bagyo. Habang kumakain ay may gumugulo sa isipan ko at hindi ko napigilang itanong ito kay Itay.

    "Tay? Pagka-graduate ko po ba, magpapatuloy ako ng kolehiyo? Kahit yung dalawang taon na kurso lang po, ayos na Tay."

     Ngunit wala akong narinig na tugon mula kang Itay. Tinignan ko sya. Hindi ko mabasa ang laman ng isip nya. Pero hinihintay ko pa rin ang sagot niya.
 
    "Anak, pasensiya na pero mukhang hindi namin kaya ng tatay mo na pag-aralin ka sa kolehiyo. Masyadong mahal ang magkolehiyo anak. Baka wala na tayong makain pag nagkagayon." sagot ni tatay.

    "Anak sana maintindihan mo." sabi naman ni nanay.

       Hindi ako makapagsalita. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Ang totoo hindi ko maintindihan. Kung bakit ba kasi mahirap kami. Kung pwede lang sanang pumili nang buhay. Mahal ko ang aking pamilya. Ang sa akin lang ay sana hindi kami mahirap. Naisip ko na rin naman to. Na baka hindi nga ako makapag-aral ng kolehiyo. Pero iba pa rin talaga pag narinig mo na mula sa kanila. Sigurado na akong wala na talaga akong patutunguhan kundi ang maging katulad ni Inay, ang maging labandera. Ngunit ayokong maging labandera. Ayokong manatili sa bahay na ito habang buhay. Ayoyko nang maghirap. Bigla ay nakaramdam ako ng masidhing damdaming makaalis dito.

      Lumipas ang dalawang buwan at graduation day na namin. Lahat sila ay masaya, ako lang yata ang hindi. Naiiyak ako, nalalapit na ako sa aking masaklap na kapalaran. Pero hindi, hindi ako papayag na mangyari yun. Aalis ako sa amin. Nakapagdesisyon na akong umalis pagdating ng bukas. Patawarin sana ako ni Inay at Itay.

       Madaling araw na, tahimik ang buong paligid. Siguradong mahimbing pang natutulog ang aking pamilya. Panahon na upang umalis. Mahal kong pamilya, paalam.

       Pagdating ko sa sakayan nang bus. Isang bus lang nag nakaparada. Ang nakalagay sa harapan ay Cagayan. Hindi ko alam kung saan yan pero bahala na. Dumating ako sa Cagayan ng pagkalipas nang sampung oras. grabe ang layo pala ng nilakbay ko. Bumaba na ako ng bus at umupo sa pinakamalapit na upuan. Nararamdaman ko na ang gutom. Bumili ako ng tinapay. Ito lang muna, kailangan kong magtipid hanggang sa makahanap ako ng trabaho. Saan kaya ako makakahanap ng trabaho? Teka, nakalimutan ko. Saan nga pala ako titira? Biglang may babaeng tumabi sa akin. Naisipan kong magtanong.

      "Ahm, miss kung hindi mo mamasamain magtanong sana ako. May alam ka bang pwedeng mapagtrabahuan dito? Kailangan ko lang talaga kasi ng trabaho. Pasensya na at hindi kasi ako tagadito kaya hindi ko pa kabisado." sabi ko.

      Ngumiti siya at sumagot nang, "Okay lang. Ano bang natapos mo miss?" 

      "High school graduate lang ako." malungkot kong tugon.

      "Ganun ba? May alam akong trabaho na pwede kang makapag-apply. Sa mall miss, tumatanggap sila kahit hihg school graduate ka lang. May hiring ngayon ang Gaisano mall. Pwede ka dun."

      "Talaga? Naku maramng salamat miss. Ang bait mo. Ang kaso meron pa akong isang problema. Sorry pero isa nlanag talaga. May alam ka bang yirahan na mura lang ang upa? Wala kasi akong matirhan dito. Sng totoo nyan, naglayas kasi ako sa amin."

      "Naku! Naglayas ka pala? Malaking problema yan. Tsaka walang mura na matitirhan dito miss. Lahat dito mahal. pero meron akong Offer kung okay lang sayo. Ako lang isa nakatira sa kwartong inuupahan ko ngayon kung gusto mo, dun ka pero hati tayo sa bayad. dalawang libo ang renta dun kaya tig-iisang libo tayo."

     "Isang libo? Naku ang mahal pa rin, pero okay na rin kaysa dalawang libo. Maraming salamat talaga sa tulong mo."

    "Ano ka ba, okay lang yun. Teka hindi pa tayo nakapagpakilala sa isat't isa. ako nga pala si Alliane. Twagin mo nlanag akong Yani."

    "Ako naman si Atsay. Ang bantut noh? Pero tawagin mo nalang akong Saypara medyo sosyal, haha!"

"Haha, tara Say punta na tayo sa boarding house nang makapagpahinga ka."

     "Salamat talaga Yani ha? tama ka kailangan ko talaga ang pahinga."
         Lumipas ang dalawang linggo bago pa ako natanggap sa trabaho. Tatlong araw pa lang mula nung pagdating ko dito ay naubos na ang pereng dala ko. Buti nalang at may natira pang Pera si Yani at nakahiram ako ng isang libo. Naku ang hirap naman dito. wala pa akong kita, baon na ako sa utang. Lumipas ang tatlong buwan, Ngunit isang sentimo wala akong naipon. Kulang na kulang ang sweldo ko sa mga bayarin at bilihin ko kasi dito kailangan mong bilhin lahat nang pangangailangan mo. Dalawang beses nga lang akong makakain sa isang araw kung minsan. Sa susunod na araw wala na akong trabaho. Tatlong buwan lang ang kontrata ko sa mall. kailangan ko namang maghnap nang trabaho.

       Minsan nga naiisip ko kung tama ba yung naging desisyon kong umalis sa amin. Doon, kahit mahirap kami, hindi ako nalilipasan nang gutom. at minsan ang mga kaingan mo ay nasa paligid lang. Hindi mo na kailangan bilhin. At isa pa miss na miss ko na rin ang pamilya ko. Siguro galit pa rin sila Inay at Itay sa akin hanggang ngayon. Ang totoo gusto ko nang umuwi. Ngunit wala akong pera kahit piso at natatakot din ako. baka hindi ako tanggapin ni tatay sa bhay. Naiiyak na ako. Ano ba naman kasi itong pinasok ko.

      Naabutan ako ni Yani na umiiyak sa kwarto namin. Nakakahiya man pero hindi ko na napigilang humagulhol. Niyakap niya ako at tinatapik-tapik ang likod ko.

       "Sshhh, tahan na Say. Sabi ko na nga ba malaking problema to eh. Hirap ka na no? Gusto mo nang umuwi?" pagkaraan ay sabi niya.

       Tumango ako at sinabing, "Oo Yani, gustong-gusto ko nang umuwi. Pero wala akong magawa. Wala na akong trabaho at wala rin akong pera. Akala ko mas madali ang buhay ko pag-alis ko sa amin. Akala ko mas magiging masaya ako. Akala ko kaya kong malayo sa kanila. Pero hindi eh. Hindi ko kaya. Nahihirapan an ako Yani. Sobra pa sa hirap na naranasan ko noon. Nahihiya na nga ako sayo kasi nagiging pabigat na ako. Sorry Yani." Patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-iyak.

      "Huwag ka ngang mag-sorry. Hindi ka pabigat sa akin tandaan mo yan. Naiintindiaha ko ang nararamdaman mo. Kahit ako nga gusto konang bumalik sa amin. Pero syempre kailangan kong maghanap buhay para na rin sa kanila. Kaya tiis-tiis lang muna ako. Sanay na rin naman ako. Peo ikaw Say bata ka pa. Marami ka pang pwedeng marating sa buhay. Huwag kang magmadali. kung hindi ka makapag-aral sa ngayon malay mo sa susunod na taon o kaya sa susunod at susunod pa na taon. Maghintay ka lang. May awa ang Diyos. Tutulungan ka niyang abutin ang mga pangarap mo. Huwag na huwag ka lang mawalan ng tiwala sa kannya."

      "Maraming salamat Yani. Pinalakas mo ang loob ko. Pangako uuwi ako. Maghahanap muna ako ng pera at uuwi na ako. Bahala na kahitgalit pa sakin sina itay at inay. handa akong humingi nang tawad hanngang sa mapatawad nila ako."    

       "Huwag kang mag-alala. Mpapatawad ka rin nila. Ang magulang ay magulang. Ano mang kasalanan nag magawa ng kanilang anak, Hindi pa rin mawawala ang pagmamahal nila dito. Kaya tahan na, okay. Teka, may naipon akong konting pera. Gamitin mo na ito at nang makauwi ka na sa inyo Say."

     "Naku, hindi ko matatanggap yan Yani. nahihiya na ako nang sobra sa iyo. Sobra sobrang tulong na ang naibigay mo sa akin kaya hindin ko matatanggap iyan."

       "Tumigil ka nga Say. Okay lang sa akin ang lahat nang yun no! Tsaka ngayon ka pa mahihiya eh uuwi ka na nga oh. makikita mo na ulit ang pamilya mo. Kaya huwag mo nang tanggihan to at kasiyahan ko ang matulungan ka."

       Naiyak na naman ako. " Hindi ko alam kung papano ka pasasalamatan Yani. Ang swerte ko at nagkaroon ako nang kaibigang katulad mo. Laking pasasalamat ko sa Diyos at ikaw ang nakatabi ko sa araw na iyon.  Maraming salamat talaga!"

       " Wala iyon no. Ikaw pa ang lakas mo sakin eh, hehe. Tsaka ako yata ang anghel na pinadala ng Diyos para tumulong sa iyo. Haha!"

       "Siguro nga Yani. Ikaw nga yung guardian angel ko. Maraming salamat sa lahat.", at yinakap ko siya nang mahigpit."

        Dumating na ang araw ng pag-uwi ko. Nagpaalam ako kay Yani nang may luha sa mga mata at nangakong bibisitahin ko siya dito at magkikita uli kami. Kung kelan yun ay pareho naming hindi alam. Habang nasa biyahe ay hindi ako mapakali. Kaba at takot ang nasa aking dibdib, ngunit nangingibabaw ang saya. Sa wakas ay uuwi na ako sa aking pinanggalingan. Sa aking tahanan. Sa tahanan kung saan ako lumaki at nagkaisip. Kung saan ako minahal at nagmahal.
     
         Ngayon naiintindiahan ko na kung ano ang ibig sabihin isang sikat na linyang mula sa Wizard of Oz,      "There's no place like home." Oo, wala nang ibang lugar na mas hihigit pa sa tahanan ko. Dahil dito  sa lupa, ito ang itinuturing kong langit ko.

WHO TO BLAME?

Inadequacy,

Life that full of misery,

Never have what you wanted,

Always lack of what you needed,

And the question is, "Who to blame?".

The Government?

Who never fails to make their selves the greatest thief,

The People?

Who gives the right to the government to steal,

Or God?

Who let the people draw their own fate.

Who to blame?

For all of this scarcity,

What to do?

Thinking if it has a remedy,

Will it be through?

When dissatisfaction on people never flee.

Yet whoever to blame with this disorder,

Sun still shines to those with power,

Rain still pour to the poorer,

Thing that never cease is

Poverty

NANKING STORE by Macario D. Tiu (the story that moved me)

           
            It was a story of a Chinese couple named Peter and Linda who had strenuously endeavored all the odds in their life. It was narrated by one of the characters in the story that was called as Tua Poya. He was the one who jumped and romped on the pristine matrimonial bed of the couple after their wedding. It was to ensure that their first-born baby would be a boy. During their first year of marriage, Linda often brought him to their house in Bajada. It was her way of easing her loneliness since she had no family and relatives in town. She fondly called him Tua Poya which meant Fatso.  He called her Achi, and Peter, Ahiya. They were a happy couple. There was so much laughter in their house
               It was on the third year when Tua Poya sensed that something had gone wrong with their marriage. Linda left the Bajada house and moved to the upper portion of Nanking Store in Santa Ana. It was strange that Linda would choose to live in Santa Ana while Peter would stay in Bajada.
             One late afternoon, he caught Linda talking with his Mother. “I got bored at Bajada, I thought I’d help Peter at the store.” That was how she explained why she had moved to Santa Ana. But then he learned the real reason when one night, his Mother told him to fetch his Father at the New Canton Barbershop for dinner. He was playing chess when he got there. “Mama says you should get home and eat,” he said and noticed he was drunk. “I have eaten. Go home. Tell Mother I’ll follow in a short while,” he said.
           He stayed on and watched the game even he did not understand a thing. Meanwhile they were laughing very hard and loud on their communal jokes about Ah Kong, a neighbor, who had ten children, all daughters. Suddenly their laughter died down when they saw Peter coming around the corner. Their was absolute silence. It was Peter who broke the silence by greeting his Father and the other people, and they were alive again. He exchange a few words with his Father then he went away.
              "A bad stock," the man said, shaking his head. "Ah Kong has no bones but Peter is a bad stock. What a pity. After four years, still no son. Not even a daughter." "It's the woman, not Peter," said a man from a neighboring table.Everybody agreed it was Linda's problem. That was the reason why Linda had moved in to Santa Ana. But the problem was more complicated than this. Peter was the family's only hope to carry on the family name, and he still remained childless.
               He was aware that people were talking behind his back. From a very gregarious man, he became withdrawn and no longer socialized. The changes in Linda occurred over a period of time. She had her own desk and sometimes acted as a cashier. Later she began to serve costumer's directly as if she were one of the salesgirls. Her in-laws were becoming hostile towards her openly. Peter did not help her when it was a matter between his parents and herself. He learned to go to night spots and the talk began that he was dating a Bisayan bar girl. One night, Peter brought Tua Poya's First brother to a house and proudly showed him a baby boy. It turned out Peter showed his baby boy to several people.
              In no time at all the community knew he had finally produced a son. As for his parents, they acted like nothing had happened but they remained unkind to Linda. When the Bisayan woman gave Peter a second son, it no longer shocked the people. what shocked them was that late one night, Peter died in a car accident in the his way returning from where he kept his mistress when a truck rammed his car, killing him instantly. After his burial, Linda's mother-in-law wanted her out of the Nanking Store but she refused.
             One day, they had a fight caused the old woman to retreat but were shouting threats at her. Linda never showed her face in Santa Ana again. But then she came back and she transformed into a fascinating woman. Then to the utter horror of the community, Linda became pregnant. People had mixed reactions. when she could not bear a child she was a disgrace. Now that she was pregnant she was still a disgrace. But she did not care about what people thought or said about her. There was no other suspect for her condition but the driver. Unused to the attention, the driver went on leave to visit his parents in Iligan City. One night, Linda came to Tua Poya's house to say goodbye to his mother and to him, too. After that' they never heard anything from Linda again.

               This story was really heart twitching. I could never imagined how Linda suffered from all of those things. She was really a brave woman. She had rise from falling and became great again. The saddest part in the story was the harsh judgement of the people. They never thought that from what they were saying they had already made the life of the other people so miserable. Specially that time when Linda got pregnant. They still saw her as a disgrace. Could they be just happy for her? She had finally found herself back and became happy again. It was not her fault when she did not get pregnant easily. They said they already tried everything. But for me, they should had try harder.

              While I was reading this story, tears were voluntarily falling down on my cheeks. It really moved me. Images of what had happened in the story appeared in my head like a flash back. It seemed so true as if I saw it with my own two eyes, as if I was there when it happened. Then I thought, the reason why I was feeling that way maybe because I once witnessed a story closely similar with their story. It was the story of my sister.
              As I recalled my memories of her on the side of her husband when they were still together, I felt a lump in my throat. It was year 2004 when they got married. Of course they were so happy and in love. Her husband was a soldier and on the fist year of their marriage she always came along with her husband in his workplace. But it became dangerous at his work so she had no choice but to stay at home. She was still not  pregnant then. When her husband came home they decided to visit an Obegyne doctor and found out that she had an Ovarian Cyst. She took all the medication, even tried to visit a Quack doctor, still they failed to make her got pregnant.
            It was on the third year when their marriage gone bad. A friend from his husband's workplace reported to her that her husband left for Butuan, they did not know the reason why. That was the time she found out that her husband had a mistress. There was a huge fight happened between them, but her husband never said sorry. Still my sister compromised because she did not want her marriage to fail. They reconciled and she suggested to her husband about adopting a child. Her husband got furious and said he would never raise a child who did not came from him. My sister dropped the subject.
                We thought everything was at peace. But her husband was then again seen with another woman. All the time, he was keeping a woman from her. The thing that shocked us all was his mistress was pregnant. I remembered my sister face back then. She almost faint. She was so vulnerable. She looked so deprive in life. She kept asking if she had not been a good wife. If she had done something wrong. And we all answered that she did not do anything wrong, it was her husband who had been unfaithful. Then she cried, yes, really cried.
             We could not think of anything why her husband did that. She was the ideal wife of every man. Loving, caring, and faithful. She even did save the money she got from her husband and they had brought many properties. Some woman only spent their husband's money in useless things. Then we came to a conclusion that he wanted a child, that was why he looked for it from other woman. They got separated. Although she loved him so much, but what he did was unforgivable. She hardly moved on from that. In fact, until now, I still saw her crying. But she said she would make it. She would rise and stand on her feet again. And she swore, she would never let him hurt her again.